Take me back!

Honestly, I'm pretty disappointed in myself. Somehow upon returning from Denmark I had a passion for learning that saw me often in public libraries with a long reading list and a stack of books about 12 inches high! I was happy, and thought that I had a new-found love for knowledge-acquiring. I somewhat looked forward to school, too, but how quickly things have changed. :(

From the first lesson last Thursday came a feeling I had forgotten but had definitely once known. It only took half an hour... And then I remembered. I remembered why it was that learning didn't come easy here. Why it was unfulfilling and just plain difficult to make yourself do. Words are failing me.. I don't know how to describe the feeling. Maybe the feelings I felt can be best understood when you hear the words of my lecturer. She claims that grades matter much less than the experience of actual learning, but seems to contradict herself when she said some things:

"Take a look around. Everyone in here wants an A. They all want your A."

"If someone else in the other class is doing better than you, I'll let you know."

(I actually remembered a lot from that first lecture.)

Sigh. Congratulations, NUS. My motivation didn't even last a day. :(