i'm loving angels instead

my day started out kinda bad. felt like i was supposed to be anywhere but in school.. black clouds greeted me in the gallery, and it was really a sight. i stared into the sky and never in my life did i want to fly away so badly like the bird in the picture. i think school's driven me mad.. i felt like i was trapped and confined within the boundaries of the college, of college life. i didn't wanna be there at all. sigh ): the clouds were of course followed by a heavy downpour... rain stubbornly never chooses the right days to fall. makes me want so very much more to be at home, in bed, snuggling warmly under my blanket.

didn't have first period so our first class only started at 10.. slept the free time away in homeroom, couldn't help but notice that everyone in class was studying though ): anyway, i was listening to the soothing sound of the rain outside but as it slowly got drowned out by voices, i plugged in my earphones and listened to music instead. the song 'angel in disguise' played on my iPod, and the lyrics went 'take a look at the ordinary, don't need to look for paradise, you could be next to an angel in disguise'. that's why i suddenly smiled by the way [:

i guess i appeared emo to my classmates, because i suddenly received a cheer up card from my angel (from last years angel-mortal thingy). thanks angel : D i hope you're reading this, coz your card meant a lot to me. i think i needed it [: i guess i was feeling kinda low, or maybe i was just really tired from idk what. found myself sighing a lot! ): was so sleepy i was yawning and tearing again.. but today i think a few of the tears that escaped from my eyes were from more than just a late night.

i really don't know what's with me these days. everyday in school, i'm just counting down to go home, but then when it's time, i don't wanna go home anymore? i think i crave for adventure. i'm so bored and unmotivated, sometimes i don't know what i'm doing in school anymore. that's why i hate school so much. or maybe abraham's right? i'm jealous of those who actually like/love school and have the will to study? sigh. i probably do want to be like them deep inside! aargh do you really know me that well already? lol.

so that's what's been going on in my mind the past couple of days. i wasn't like this before! i think i miss choir! i need choir, it gave me more reason and purpose to come to school. now i think i just come for the people.. seriously \: and sometimes it doesn't seem to be enough esp when everyone around me wants to study. lol not that i blame them. it's just me and my issues. i swear i need help ): SOMETHING'S WRONG WITH ME!